Burden of Expectations – Turning Restrictions into Opportunities

She has just born. She is one of the twins. The other one is a boy. Everyone is happy and planning for a big party. All have come but somehow the number of blessings are different for both the kids. They both have started their life journey together. However, the baby boy is paid more attention to than she is. Everyone is telling to take care of the boy as girls have to go to the next house and only the boy would care for them in their old times. That was the first restriction bein put on that little girl baby.

The story never took a different turn and from the first bicycle to better education, from better food to better attention, from more freedom to more motivation; somehow everything was low on her side. Her brother always loved her but seeing the way the family was doing things, he also started feeling that he is superior to her.

All decisions were being made in his favor. He was the one to get a chance to go to College, to study in a better city, to perform in different sports and curricular activities. She was told to study in hometown because the big cities are not safe for her. She was told to refrain from sports as they are for boys and what would she do with all such things. She should learn the art of being a traditional marriage material girl. What would she do by going to college, when all she has to do is taking care of the family?

Even after getting married, things remained the same for her. Now she is a responsible mother, wife, daughter-in-law and many other related names. She was never herself nor can she be. She is there for others and has to always live her life like that. That is her moral duty, her sole purpose to be on this earth. The husband has to be fed, all his needs have to be taken care of, and she should remain obedient to him. Seeing all this vicious circle, even for her kids, she starts giving more attention to the boy baby as that is what she has learned and her girl child is now going to repeat the history only.

Has the story would not have been like that, things have been a lot more different. All the restrictions were if turned into opportunities, her life, as well as her family’s life, would have been somewhat else. Has she given the first bicycle, she would have been able to learn how to drive. She could do the necessary tasks for which she has to be always dependent on her father, the brother and then Husband. Had she went for sports activities, she would be physically strong and might have learned some self-defense techniques also to take care of herself and not become a weak target for everyone.

Had she gone to the big city for better studies, she must have been independent and able to support her parents as well as her husband. Has she been given the chance to be herself, she would have achieved much more and her daughter would have turned into a confident, independent girl who is never burdened by society’s expectations of being a girl like her mother was and would be living her life equally or may be way better than her brother.

How the restrictions if have been converted into opportunities, life would have changed. It would have been a great space to live for everyone since all would be together and equal. They would have equal respect for each other, the husband would actually think of his wife as his better half, the parents would have treated the girl in the same way as a boy and would have two people to rely on in their old times. The kids would have turned better seeing a respectful equal society. And who knows, most of the problems we face against women, might have not been there or at least decreased to an extent?

Let’s be the voice of change!
Let be the voice within you!
The voice that should say proudly one day,
That yes, Weliveditall 🙂


2 thoughts on “Burden of Expectations – Turning Restrictions into Opportunities

  1. This is written so beautifully!
    You elaborated this vicious cycle in such an accurate, yet emotional way, and it completely applies to today’s world. This needs to be said more often!
    Brilliant work, loved this! <3

    1. Thank you, Shruti. Indeed, this is the reality of our patriarchal society and even if many of us are achieving our dreams today, we still feel that particular sense of obligation for being a female.

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